Trust isn’t believing. It’s knowing.

I am growing up! It’s official. No misunderstanding here. Twenty years old; a pretty good place to go ahead and start the motion of adulthood. Ever so gently the transition has come, and not  so gently have I pushed and pulled along the way. Safety nets have been my constant companions the past few years, and now I’ve finally decided that they are forbidden in my life here-on-out.

When God said that He is our Provider, He meant it. He doesn’t say things He doesn’t mean. But how can He truly provide for us if we’ve back-up plans for when He doesn’t come through exactly how we’d like Him to?

I’m done with back up plans.They, too, are forbidden.

So here’s the deal. It’s me and it’s Him. That’s it. And I’m dang happy about it. I don’t understand everything just yet, and honestly don’t think I’ll ever get to a place where I do understand everything. But I’m right on track, and worrisome, I am not.

rcd

Behaviour

Maybe it’s true. If we change the perspective of something that is seemingly unfriendly… it will change one’s (or everyone’s) behaviour:

 

Written away.

Dearest Friend,

Have you ever known exactly where you belonged, who you wanted to be, and who you wanted to be with? I’ve thought so too. I’ve been in and out of love time and time again with different cityscapes, friendlies, and cultures. So often I’ve deeply known: this is where i’m supposed to be. I just know it.

Then, as soon as I can become accustomed to knowing that nothing could suite me more perfectly, I am swept away by an unwavering set of circumstances, throwing my hopes and dreams off course. Not out of sight, but off course enough to have me trying to re-write this map of mine. Yes, it’s one of those years.

I’ve felt shame for not having a concrete plan. Shame for letting my naivete decide where my next step is rather than the wisdom that I’m supposed to have at this age. But there is where my true question lies! At this age, twenty years old, am I supposed to have the wisdom to know exactly how to go about all this? If so, I am only beginning to catch up to the rest of the Y Generation! But, at the same time, considering my circumstances I believe that I have a good grip on reality and wisdom. So where do I fall? Ahead? Or behind?

Oh gosh. If nothing else, I’m being educated throughout the process.

Forgive my rhetorics.

grace and grace,

rcd